AD/Your Self-Talk Matters – It impacts everything from Weight-Loss, to Anxiety, Depression… to Fuelling Your Success in Sports to your Work…
– Blog By Rachel Grunwell (wellness coach, speaker, & author of Balance: Food, health + Happiness). Rachel co-leads the Mindful Moments retreats at the Polynesian Spa. Book a weekend-long retreat getaway HERE
Connect with Rachel via Instagram: @rachelgrunwell
Negative self-talk is a trend I witness with many of my wellness coaching clients. It breaks my heart.
My clients are juggling all the balls in the air but still struggle with love for themselves. They lack self-love and often practice negative and damaging self-talk. Their inner dialogue with themselves is mean, unkind and is holding them back from their true potential.
They see themselves through a lens of “not enough”. Not pretty enough, slim enough, smart enough, fit enough, or good enough. They feel guilty about taking “me time” to uplift their health. They feel like “me time” steals time away from giving more to others.
I tell my clients: You are enough. You are worthy. You are special. You are beautiful. You deserve to be seen, heard, and loved. It’s okay to nurture yourself, your health and look after yourself. You matter too. You deserve the chance to chase after your dreams, goal-crush and be the best version of you. The only one holding you back is “you”. If you look after “you” then you can give even more back to others you love, I promise”….
I advise my clients to practice self-love if they want to be successful in this one, precious, short life. You must talk to yourself in a similar way that you’d talk to your best friend or a child. – with tenderness, compassion, kindness, understanding and love. Otherwise, you’ll stay “stuck”.
How you speak to yourself fuels how you feel on the inside. It can have a ripple effect too with others. And those beliefs that you have inside your head can influence how you behave. You need self-love for kick-ass confidence in the world and to move forwards.
If your self-talk is negative and said out loud then the impact can be even more corrosive. If you say you are stupid and then your child hears this and copies your role-modelling… it will feel devastating to hear them repeat those words about themselves.
Positive self-talk can impact on your success on uplifting your health. An example of positive self-talk might sound like: “I’m tired today and so I won’t make it out for a run today and that’s okay. Tomorrow I’ll go and move my body and keep trying my best. I deserve this healthy me-time”. This positive self-talk is more likely to lead to more positive healthy behaviours.
This is rather than saying something negative like: “I’m not going running today because I’m useless and I may as well give up now…”
The latter sentence will likely result in future fitness inaction.
My dream is to help more women believe in themselves and so they can goal-crush. I’d like to inspire everyone to help to stop this unhealthy cycle of negative self-talk. We need to fuel a culture of self-acceptance, worthiness, self-compassion, and self-love instead. We need a nurturing self-talk revolution.
Critical to living a wholehearted, authentic and full life is loving ourselves, writes Brene Brown in her book ‘The Gifts of Imperfection’. Positive self-talk is a key to leaving dark thoughts and to living more in the light.
Being kind with our self-talk is also all about helping us to move forwards, feel resilient and live
more vibrantly alive.
Tips for more positive Self-Talk:
1. Use a ritual daily to practice a self-love mantra that helps you to change your self-talk dialogue. For instance, one of my girlfriends Cristina tells herself out loud
“I am beautiful” daily while she puts on her moisturiser in front of the mirror.
While she massages in the cream, she says these kind words to herself. This is instead of things like “I shouldn’t have drunk wine last night or stayed up so late and that’s why I look tired”…
2. Embrace your imperfections – and realise this takes time and commitment. These are things that make you look beautiful and look like “you”.
3. Make a conscious choice to believe in yourself and say positive things out loud. Let kids hear you speak these kind, positive, uplifting mantras.
4. Set boundaries. Say no to things you don’t want to do – otherwise if you say “yes” you feel resentment later. A no for someone else, is a “yes” for your soul health.
5. Find something that calms your nervous system. I personally use yoga, mediation, and I savour my cup of coffee mindfully daily where I pause and feel gratitude for the upcoming day. If I feel really anxious then I reach out to uplifting friends, or go for a walk (which in my book Balance explains how this calms anxiety).
6. Take time to do things you love to do. Practice being playful. These things can boost your mood and confidence.
- This is a sponsored post by the Polynesian Spa. Rachel is an ambassador for the spa complex where she co-leads the Mindful Moments retreats.